Escaped Escape
by rick777
Summary: An alternate ending to the Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi, book 4. WARNING: Black comedy.


**Escaped Escape. An alternate ending to "The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi".**

A Suzumiya Haruhi fan fiction by Rick

Disclaimer: I do not own the Suzumiya Haruhi franchise or any of its characters.

* * *

So, there I was, in front of the computer, in what once had been (in my memory) the SOS Brigade room. After having reunited the members of the non-existing SOS brigade in this alternate world, the computer in the literature room activated. Indeed, it had been altered by the Nagato we all know, so that it could send me back to my home world. And the proof was that the computer started showing Nagato's "last words".

YUKI.N: This program can only be executed once. Once it is executed, it will be deactivated. Should you choose not to activate it, it will also be deactivated. Are you ready? _

This was the last line of words. The cursor at the end flickered non-stop.

It was a simple decision. If I hit ENTER, I would travel back to the past, 3 years from now, so I could meet the Nagato that I always knew, and fix this odd world that I was not accustomed to. If I hit any other key, this world would remain as it is now. Without Espers, aliens, or time travelers. I would be able to live a normal life, without having to worry about Haruhi destroying the known universe.

But was that what I wanted? Should I hit "Enter"? Or should I hit some other key?

I thought about it again and again. It's not that I didn't like the new Nagato. It's not that I wouldn't be able to meet with the brigade again. But I still missed the other members of my class. I missed Haruhi poking at my back with her pencil. I missed Koizumi's philosophical explanations to my problems. I missed Asahina-san's classified informations. I missed how Haruhi dragged me by the necktie to illustrate me with another of her brilliant ideas. I missed going back to the brigade room whenever classes finished.

In other words, I missed my world. And more important, I missed the SOS Brigade.

When I came to my senses, I realized Haruhi was peeking over my shoulder.

"What does it all mean? Is it some secret organization? John, stop fooling around and explain already!"

I completely ignored Haruhi, Koizumi and Asahina-san. During this moment, my eyes were neither fixed on Haruhi in her ponytail, Koizumi in my PE uniform, nor the ever-so-cute Asahina-san. I had put all my attention onto this computer and the only other person in this room. I said to the bespectacled girl who was staring at the screen looking stunned:

"Nagato, do you have any recollection of this?"  
"...No,"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Why do you ask?"

"Hey, John. What's wrong? You look so strange." Haruhi's voice sounded as if it came from a distance.

"Please", I said, stretching my hands around me. "NOBODY touch this computer! Let me explain."

We sat down on the table and I explained everything as briefly as I could to the non-members of the SOS brigade.

"Wait..." said Nagato. "If you hit ENTER... you'll leave us?"

"Not exactly leave you. I will simply restore things to normal. Nagato, you'll be changed back to being the alien you were. Haruhi, you'll have your supernatural powers back. Asahina-san, you'll be able to travel back in time. Koizumi-kun, you'll be able to calm down Haruhi with your special powers. And EVERYTHING will be back to normal."

Everyone looked at me stunned. But were they stunned because of the crazy explanation, or because I considered "that" world to be "normal"? But I didn't care. I stood up and gave Nagato the application she had given me so I could become a member of the literature club.

"I'm sorry, Nagato, but you can have it back."

Nagato's pale fingers slowly reached out to receive the blank club application form. Once I let go, the application form flickered about, though there was hardly any wind in here. After missing her grip once, she finally grabbed hold of it the second time around.

"This..."

Nagato's voice was even shaking, her eyes concealed by her eyelashes.

"Remember," I quickly explained, "I'm not leaving you. And that's because...."

Stretching out my finger to the keyboard, I said:

"I'm a member of the SOS Brigade."

_Are you ready?_

You bet.

I put down my finger towards the keyboard and hit the "Enter" key. Real world, here I come!

I closed my eyes, in anticipation for the sickness that would assault me whenever I traveled back in time.

Five seconds later, I was still there, and nothing had happened.

"WHAT?"

This can't be happening. Was there some error in the program? Why am I still here?

"John", said Haruhi. "You haven't disappeared. Are you sure it wasn't just a bad dream of yours?"

"No, something must be wrong. Something must be wrong!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! WHY!?!?"

Nagato swallowed, scared of my desperate face while I was banging at the desk, yelling at the computer.

WHY, DAMMIT!? WHY AM I STILL HERE!?

And to answer my question, some text appeared in the computer display.

YUKI.N: You have pressed the SHIFT key. The program has been deactivated.

...and this is how the fate of the world was decided by a stupid typo.

"John, you're an idiot."

Haruhi, for the first time in my life, I agree with you.

- THE END -

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